Hey everyone!
Welcome to this weeks dorky review of The Three Phases of Claire. And before you ask, no I was not injected with that Beta C stuff, I ramble like this all the time. Anyway as always this contains HUGE HONKIN’ spoilers for that eppy, and all ideas are my own. I’m too lazy to steal ideas from anyone else. :-)
Overall:
We’ve seen Darien nuts, we’ve seen Claire nuts, and in "Germ Theory" Darien wondered what would happen if they both went nuts at the same time. Apparently what happens is they go at it like rabid squirrels.
In the end Claire is saved, the Official presumably sells the formula with the antidote for tons of money to save the Agency, and all that’s left is this awkwardness between Darien, Hobbes and Claire. They’re all quick to forgive and rationalize away what happened. Darien and Claire were both under the influence of some strong chemicals at the time, and while Hobbes’ crush on Claire has been hinted at quite a bit, he’s far from coming right out and doing anything about it thanks to his "no fishing off the company pier" philosophy. But it’ll be a while before any of them forget what happened, and it’ll be interesting to see how the relationships between the three may change because of it.
The Good:
-It’s too bad that most of the episodes that focus on Claire deal with her being drugged, because Shannon can do so much more. Still she does an amazing job playing this weeks version of "Drugged and Loopy Claire", talking faster then I thought humanly possible and then turning on the sex! Bravo!
-For quotes this week we get Shirley Chisholm, Voltaire, Mark Twain, and Hobbes graces us with a few seconds of "Pinball Wizard" from The Who. Although I do wonder if Claire’s line when she’s injected with the antidote ("Hurts so good.") isn’t a reference to that cheesy 80’s tune ("Hurts so good, come on baby make it hurt so good! Sometimes love don’t feel like it should you make it...hurt so good!")
-Armin Shimmerman is back again as Thomas/Gaither, and kudos once again! Watch him deliver bad news, you can’t always tell if he’s truly sincere or not...if he’s really Thomas or just Gaither playing.
-It’s clear Darien knows eventually he’ll get Claire to spill what’s bugging her. He just sits there calmly probing till she lets it out.
-Gotta love Eberts and the Official playing Gameboy!
-Hobbes once again proves he’s much better at lying then Darien is. Time after time while Darien stutters towards an answer Hobbes smoothly lays out a fib. This week Hobbes explains why Darien was following around the Official.
-In the You Can See It On Her Face category, watch Claire practically beg for help when Ted Stanhope grabs her and puts the needle to her neck.
-Since the Pilot episode I’ve been waiting to see Darien do more cool things with a pen. It’s been a year and a half, but I finally get my wish! I couldn’t help but yell "WO HO!" when Darien grabbed that pen and starting picking the lock!
-Eberts is one fast guy when he wants to be...watch him scamper for the bars of the cell when Thomas suddenly stands up. Everyone else leans back a bit too, they’re all wary of this guy, but Eberts zips for the door in a flash!
-More You Can See It On His Face...Darien is clearly thinking how Phase 3 sounds a lot like QSM when Thomas describes it.
-Great Scene 1: Stanhope drags a chattering Claire to a field and prepares to kill her. Only after the drug forces Claire to reveal the IM project is her life saved. Claire is just gutwrenching to watch as she stares down the barrel of a gun scared out of her mind, then turns to anger and despair as she fights a loosing battle to keep Darien a secret.
-"Hope the guy you hit was hurt worse then that."
"It was a wall, and yes it was hurt more."
-Gotta love the Russian accordion music that starts up when Alex saunters into the sauna.
-"That sneaky little red bastard!"
"Elmo?"
-Gotta love how well Hobbes, Darien and Claire work as a team even without a plan. Hobbes rushes into the cabin to distract Dimitri long enough for Darien to get close, then as Dimitri goes to shoot Hobbes, Claire brings up a well aimed knee and Darien then tosses the guy through the window.
-"He had this huge honkin’ need sticking right in my carotid artery!" Ah yes, Claire is a girl after my own huge honkin’ vocabulary. :-)
-Move over MicroMachiens guy, here comes Claire! Just trying to keep up with her wore me out! We’ve seen Paul and Vince both do the fast talking thing before as well...is there a class you take as an actor so you can talk that fast or something?!
-Great Scene 2: Darien and Hobbes try to deal with a talkative and delusional Claire. Darien looks completely lost and then annoyed, while Hobbes tries his best to just grin and guide Claire to the van. Meanwhile Claire lets some wonderful lines slip like "I sweat right here in between my breasts!" By the time the hallucinations started and she’s still lucid enough to know they’re all in her mind I thought she’d start singing "I hear voices and there’s no one there!"
-"I believe I’ve ascertained the correct formula."
"But? There’s a but there, I can hear it."
-Gotta love Hobbes getting paranoid when Claire’s voices start talking about him. Although you can’t blame him, what with Claire’s responses making it clear they’re talking about his little crush.
-Even while running for her life, Claire still carries on a conversation with herself!
-"No more running! From now on, we walk...slowly!" Of course that goes along nicely with his exclamation later of, "I’m to old for this!"
-Watching Claire dancing on the walkway was both disturbing and hysterical at the same time.
-It’s probably a good thing Claire was drugged into being so hot and bothered, because in any other case Darien probably would have attacked her.
-"My adrenal gland is working overtime...it’s not the only gland letting off heavy secretions." Wow...uh...is it getting hot in here or is it just me? :-)
-Poor Hobbes...he’s so freaked and upset to find his partner and his crush making out under that tarp that he’s actually ready to punch Darien before Alex gives him the counteragent. Fortunately for his sanity both Darien and Claire were found with their pants on.
-"The birds do it, the bees do it..."
"...even scien-TISTS do it!"
-Great Scene 3: Everyone waits while Thomas prepares the antidote, and watching everyone wait is just a ton of fun! Eberts looks like he wants to run away, ready and willing to administer the shot even if he’s freaked out. Darien hides in the shadows, too embarrassed to come out until he has to take the needle from Eberts. The Official looks amused by the whole situation, trying to hide his grin as he watches Hobbes fend off a horny Claire. Hobbes tries his best to stay professional, being the gentleman and not taking advantage of Claire in her warped state of mind...even if he does wish he could! Finally Claire is cured, and wakes thinking it was all a dream...and you were there and you were there and there’s no place like home (especially after making out with the Scarecrow! :-) ). Too bad Darien still can’t lie and Claire is left realizing Kansas will never be the same.
-And now for Truer Words Were Never Spoken: Darien, "If anyone knows their way around a needle it’s me."
-Great Scene 4: Darien apologizes to Hobbes, and then they meet up with Claire to have a wonderfully awkward moment in the hallway. Sitting there watching them stutter around a conversation *I* felt awkward!
The Bad:
-The CIA really sucked in this episode. First off they have this dangerous double agent, and even though he’s injured they still don’t have him restrained in ANY WAY?! One pair of handcuffs and this whole eppy could have been avoided. Oh wait...
-Then outside the building, the only people to go after Stanhope are Darien and Hobbes? I would think some of those CIA goons with the big honkin’ guns would have followed as well, and perhaps there’d be a perimeter of security already in place!
-Meet Alex Monroe, Plot Device. Don’t know how to find a double-agent quickly? Use Alex Monroe! Need to get Hobbes from the middle of nowhere to exactly where Darien and Claire were kidnapped too? Use Alex Monroe! Don’t get me wrong, the scenes she had were well done and I’m liking her character a bit more, but she’s just used as a plot device! Instead of having Hobbes and Darien actually go out and investigate a bit to discover where Claire was abducted too, or have Hobbes figure out where Dimitri would take Darien and Claire, it’s all just handed to us thanks to Alex and her Magic Contact List.
The Crap Count:
-"Aw crap." Darien, when he see’s the CIA guy ready to fire.
-"Aw crap." Darien, realizing Thomas came up with Beta C.
-"Holy crap, I-Man!" Hobbes, in a wonderful parody of Batman and Robin, when he see’s Dimitri.
-"Oh crap!" Claire, realizing it wasn’t a dream after all.
The Nitpicky:
-Now Brandy is announcing when "The Invisible Man continues"...but we’re still missing Mike. Hello?! MIKE?! Where are you?!
-Teasers for next week suggest that Thomas remembers he’s Gaither. I’m curious...Thomas looked like he had a direct connection into Claire’s computer, do you think he accessed some other things besides Beta C info? Like any info on Gaither...or on Darien?
-I had a Siberian Husky a while ago. A beautiful animal, one of my best friends growing up...made me kinda sad to hear that used as a password for evil guys!
-Oh just what I’ve always wanted to see on my screen, big fat Russians naked in a sauna. Thanks gang.
-So anyone know what the Russian in the sauna was saying before Alex came in?
-Darien and Hobbes both know Claire was injected with that truth serum that forces her to talk and talk and talk...so neither ask her anything they’ve wanted the answer to? Like her last name?!
-And now for your pleasure, 13 ways to say you need to go to the bathroom thanks to Claire (with a bit of help from Darien): have a piddle, spend a penny, make a sissy, take a tinkle, go number 1, gotta pee, use the WC (water closet, a term I haven’t heard since I was in London!), have a slash, drop a dime, pump some bilge, tinkle my winkle, see a man about a toilet, and drain the main vein!
-Weekly Wardrobe Wrap-Up: I love jeans. I’m a sucker for a guy in jeans. So Hobbes was quite droolworthy all episode with the black jeans and the jean jacket. And at the end even Darien put aside some of that flea market crap and put on jeans and a t-shirt! I’ll be sending flowers to whoever did the wardrobe this eppy!
-Chalk up another Fall From High Places for Darien, as Dimitri takes a swan dive. That’s 6 people he’s pushed over the edge so far, 4 killed.
"You’re very funny for someone who doesn’t exist!"
-Claire
