The characters of I-Man have agreed that they wanted to help all I-Maniacs with any questions they might have about anything (though they ask that you keep it clean as this is a family publication). Hobbes volunteered to go first, then came Darien and then we got the female point of view from Claire. Now it’s time for the judgment of the under appreciated Eberts!

===
Hello Everyone!
The Official has informed me that it’s now my turn to shield questions from the curious masses. I must say, that I think this is quite the honor. It’s not everyday that someone in my … situation gets to answer questions, or even has people that want to ask me questions! I must say, this is all very exciting! Let’s get started, shall we?

Dear Eberts,
I used to work at a government facility in the Dept of the Inter--wait...that might be classified....um...okay...anyway, when I left to look for a career that offered more advancement (and better pay), I forgot to turn in a few things. Nothing big, just a few office supplies, a coffee mug, and the combination to the safe. So I'm wondering if I should give it back to them...if I don't, I could have bad karma, but if I do, they might make me disappear...especially since I have the combination memorized...oh yeah...and the sequence of how and when new combinations are set...um...anyway...any ideas on what I should do or what country I can hide in?

IvyThePlant
PS: How can I get carbon paper smudges out of my shirt?

Dear Ms. ThePlant
It certainly sounds like you have the beginnings of your own office supply system going on, and knowing the combination to the safe is always quality information. However, my advice to you… Shut up. Don’t say a word, what they don’t know can’t hurt them. If they know you have already pilfered the aforementioned items, especially the safe combination, you would have been erased already. Just keep your mouth shut, take it from a professional in this area. If you are still uneasy about continuing residence in the United States, Switzerland is nice this time of year. Oh, a little Soda Water with Arm & Hammer usually works well with me and carbon paper smudges on my shirts.
=====

Dear Albert, Would you rather be addressed by your last name? Anyway, very little is known about you (which I am sure you're happy about), and I would like to know more about you. You seem like a highly intelligent and handy guy; I just can't figure out why you allow Charlie and Bobby to abuse you so much. It's really quite distressing. So, I would appreciate hearing the circumstances that led to your moving to The Agency, and any personal data you feel comfortable in disclosing. In case you're wondering, I'm not some freaky stalker or anything like that. I work in another government agency that's considering investing in some of The Agencies' research. Now before you get all excited, this is an unofficial communiqué... so please don't say anything to Charlie until I can verify a few things on my end, okay? Sincerely, Amy Daniels

Dear Ms. Daniels
Please call me Eberts, I hear enough about my given name from Robert. You know, there’s a saying that there’s more than one way to go invisible. I believe that I have one method down pretty well, wouldn’t you say? The more I keep my mouth shut, the less people realize I am there and hence the more information I am able to gather. You have no idea how many classified tidbits I have been able to gather over my years at the Agency simply because the Official forgot I was in the room. I don’t understand how learning more about me as a person would benefit your government agency and its business dealings with our Agency. I’m sure the Official will be quite excited to know about any future dealings your company is willing to send his way, however he will not hear it from me. As for how I got to the Agency, I worked for the I.R.S. for a number of years, a rather unfortunate dealing forced me to start looking for employment elsewhere. The gag-order is still in effect so I cannot readily discuss what took place. However, the Official had been keeping his eyes on me for some time and when I became available, he offered me a job. As for personal information; I enjoy video games and soap operas, my favorite junk food is Oreo cookies, I used to have a Chihuahua and I am especially fond of raves.
=====

Hey Eberts. My question is fairly simple. I have the feeling you are anal about neatness and everything being in its place, right? I also have an extreme urge to keep things neat and orderly. Given that, I must know two things. First, do your co-workers (especially Darien and Bobby) give you a hard time about this obsession. I know many of my co-workers like to move things around on my desk just to annoy me. Secondly, if they do this, what is your response? Perhaps I can try some of your techniques. Thanks.

SilverFawkes, Keeper of Darien's good heart under that criminal exterior.

Dear SilverFawkes
I am very organized, in my profession I need to be. When the Official needs a vital piece of information, I must be sure that I know ahead of time what he wants and when. It’s not always easy, but I have learned to think ahead and organization really helps a lot. Agent Fawkes doesn’t really give me a “hard time” about my organizational skills, he just shakes his head and will make the odd comment here and there. Robert, on the other hand … whenever the opportunity arises, and even when it doesn’t, he will make some sort of crack about it. Telling me that my mother potty-trained me too harshly and too soon and that I must have a Martha Stewart fetish. I try to ignore him, but it’s not always easy. Robert will take great joy in sometimes moving a file from its original place or purposely mis-filing a report. I get my revenge the only way I can, by consistently “losing” his requests for a raise.
=====

Dear Eberts,
Hey, Ebes, I do have a question, but first I must thank you for representing all of us geeks out here. I am, and always have been, a geek, and often have trouble with that...but our day is coming, viva la geek revolution! Er, sorry. But I just wanted you to know that you are important to all of us nerds and computer hackers out there. Anyway, my question. There's this guy I work with. He's really nice, to everybody else. Me, well, he says my name funny (it's pronounced Lo-ren, not Lair-en!) and makes fun of me- "queen of the paper clips" "pencil-pusher" and sometimes just "geek" and "nerd". Now, after over a year of this, I am sick of it. I just have to confess- I'm not very nice to him either, but I say his name properly, and I certainly don't call him names! (very often) So, what do I do? You seem to be the man to ask about this. Help!
TrekkieForever/Lauren
P.S.- I wouldn't eat a green tomato either!
P.P.S.- I like filing!
P.P.P.S.- I'm very sorry about Alonso.

Dear Ms. Forever
I had never really thought of myself as a “geek” before. Robert has called me a “nerd” and in school I was a “dork”, but I suppose “geek” would be next on the list. I don’t understand why a person who has a fascination with computers and enjoys using them on a daily basis, and is good at it, is termed a “geek” or a “nerd” or other such name. It sounds like you have a situation somewhat similar to mine. Robert just cannot seem to say my name without a sneer of some sort. I’m sure you’ve heard him say it .. Eeeeeeeberts. It does get annoying. It sounds as if this person you work with is of the same caliber as Agent Hobbes. Perhaps getting above his level, as I do with Robert, would be helpful. Find out more about him; his background, his bad habits. These tidbits can always come in handy when you need to make a smart retort of some kind. I usually simply ignore Agent Hobbes because I can retaliate in more subtle ways, however you need to take matters into your own hands. Giving a bit of “tit for tat” probably wouldn’t hurt either, see how much he likes having his name said improperly. I don't think I'll ever get over Alonso.
===

How refreshing!
Thank you all so much for asking me these questions! It certainly was an honor on my part, I hope I have been helpful.

Eberts
===

In this section of the newsletter you get the chance to get your creative juices flowing and write the next part of an ongoing story. Below, you'll find the story so far. Your mission, should you choose to accept it (unlike The Official, we give you the choice :), is to write the next part of the story in about 125 words or less. It'll be a tough choice, but I will pick one submission and post it in the next newsletter and continue from there. Ready? Here goes!

The teaser:
Darien was a happy guy. He had just gotten a shot of counteragent and wouldn't need a new one for a while, things were quiet at the agency, and most importantly, he was going to spend a nice relaxing evening at home with a home-made meal and his favorite book "The Story of Philosophy: The Lives and Opinions of the World's Greatest Philosophers". "It doesn't get any better than this", he thought as he headed toward his apartment with a bag of groceries in one arm.
As he unlocked the door, the scene inside made him stop in his tracks. "Aw crap!" he said as the smile disappeared from his face and was replaced by a look of dismay. His apartment had been ransacked and very thoroughly at that. After taking a moment to digest the situation, he walked cautiously into the apartment careful not to step on anything breakable, which had not already been broken, and checked to make sure that whoever made the mess wasn't still there.

Part 2 by R2:
Glass crunched under Darien's feet as he made his way through his destroyed apartment. Nothing had been spared and Darien felt violated. Unknown hands had rifled through his possessions, going over his personal affects. The intruder, or intruders, had been quite thorough. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, his small abode abnormally quiet. With a deep breath, Darien allowed the quicksilver to coat his body, neatly rendering him invisible. If whoever had done this was still here, he saw no need to give them the advantage. There was a small noise from inside the bathroom, Darien's head snapped around at the sound as he began to make his way toward the closed door.

Part 3 by R2
Slowly, Darien reached out and grasped the cold handle in his equally cold hand. Fear and anger were vying for attention, whoever had ransacked his home was still stupid enough to be here. Big mistake.
He flung the door open and blindly launched himself inside, grabbing a stunned individual around their waist. There was a startled shout as he and the intruder fell to the ground in a tangle of arms and legs, Darien could feel them struggling to get out from under him and he knew that he had the upper hand.
Darien gripped a flailing hand tightly as he glanced down at the person who had destroyed his apartment. His breath left him in a horrified gasp as he recognized the man, "Hobbes?"

Part 4 by Kathy Czechowski, a.k.a. Hei_Mao
Hobbes snorted, jerking from Darien's grip and standing. "Thanks for the hospitality. Love what
you've done with the place," he said, brushing broken glass from his sleeves.
"What do you mean by that? I didn't do this." Darien's brow furrowed as he let the quicksilver fall
away.
"What, and I did? You called me here."
"No, I didn't." His voice trailed off as he stared at the mess.
"Yeah, you did. You said you wanted to talk to me about something, the door would be unlocked, I
should just walk in. I walked in, and POW! I woke up in here. Then you came barreling in...."
Darien paused, shaking his head. "I didn't call you. This doesn't make sense."
"Right. If someone wanted to frame me for tossing your apartment, why call me here?" Hobbes rubbed the back of his head. A large bruise was rapidly purpling beneath a dozen small cuts. He winced, mumbling curses.
"Somebody wanted us here at the same time. The mess is just a distraction. Someone wanted us out of the
way," Darien declared.
Hobbes nodded, his expression grim. "I was thinking the same thing."

Part 5 by FawkesFox
Hobbes' cell phone began to ring. He took it out of his pocket and answered it, "Hobbes... What?... Where are you?... Stay there, we're on our way." He hung the phone up and turned to Darien. "There's trouble partner." Hobbes started for the door, Darien following closely behind him. Within minutes they arrived at the Agency. Once they got there, they knocked on the door of Charlie's office. There was no answer so Darien kicked the door in. Inside, Charlie was tied to the chair, a gag in his mouth.
"Hello, Darien." A familiar voice said from behind the door. Darien turned to see the man who was responsible for his brother's death.

Part 6 by Allison Riley
Darien's couldn't speak. He never, in his wildest dreams, thought that Arnaud would come back for a third time. Then, the memories of Kevin dying in his arms came back to him. His speechlessness disappeared. Darien tried to punch Arnaud, but he wasn't quick enough. Arnaud grabbed his fist and squeezed it tightly. Pain rushed through Darien's arm. Then he let go. The pain vanished. Darien ran to the center of the room and quicksilvered. Arnaud just laughed. Darien tried again to punch him, thinking that he couldn't stop his fist this time. But he did. Hobbes had been standing there staring. Now he could see Arnaud holding something in midair. Arnaud squeezed Darien's fist even harder than before. Forcing him to become visible again. Arnaud laughed. "How did he do that?" Darien, Hobbes, and Charlie all said quietly to themselves.

Part 8 by jakgirl
"Are you selling me out?" cried Darien.
Arnaud perched on the Official's desk. "I think we should tell him, don't you? Otherwise he will waste his time and my patience trying to discover the answers." He quirked an eyebrow at the Official and continued,
"The explanation is simple. Using nanotechnology, I've perfected special contact lenses with tiny viewers, which enable me to see quicksilver: a superior version of the Agency's viewers. I have proven to your employer that they work. Now he knows I can find and kill you anywhere, at any time, and he has agreed to let me…borrow you for a little job I have. Otherwise, I shoot you and harvest the gland. Don't think I won't do it."
"What's the job?" asked Darien warily.

Part 9 by FawkesFox
"My neice has been kidnapped by some very ruthless people." Arnaud said.
"More ruthless than you?" Darien quipped.
Arnaud ignored him and continued, "I can't stand seeing my sister so upset."
"Well, well... Never would have figured you for a softie." Darien said.

Part 10 by Sasscat
"Ordinarily no," Arnaud said smoothly, "but Jessica shows a lot of promise. Her mother is right to worry."
Darien froze, barely hearing Arnaud's next words. He knew he was being stupid - it wasn't exactly the most uncommon of names - but somehow he had a feeling, low in his gut, that he was about to hear some unpleasant news. "Your niece is called Jessica?"
"Jessica Semplar. She's in grade three at Heatherfield Elementary. If you'll come along I'll give you all the information you need."
"My god," Darien said softly. "Jess." He stumbled backwards until he found the wall, and clung to it for support. Jess had been kidnapped. Jess was related to *Arnaud*. And that was something even her
invisible best friend Ralph couldn't save her from.
But he could try. Darien lifted his eyes to Arnaud's, coldly determined. "I'll do it."

Part 11 by Mandy, a.k.a. fawkesielady
"Good" Arnaud said with a slight smile. They walked out of the building, guards on either side of Darien just incase he decided to change his mind, and got in Arnaud's car.
"So, what do these people want with Jessica?" Darien asked as the car pulled out on the street.
"That I am not sure of yet. She is a very bright girl, very bright for her age." Darien thought he saw a tinge of hurt behind Arnaud's hard exterior. He would have felt sorry for him if he wasn't Arnaud.
"Yeah, I know." He mumbled.
"What was that?"
"Nothing. Tell me what you want me to do. But understand one thing, I'm not doing any of this for you."
Arnaud chuckled, "I'd hope not. After this is over, we can go back to hating and wanting to kill each other. But for now, I'm afraid we have no choice, we must work together."

Part 12 by The_Mad_Fangirl
"You hate me?" Darien asked. The guards flanked him in the limo's back seat. "Why? I mean, I hate you because you killed Kevin, and," his voice hardened, "I will kill you for that, but what did I ever do to you?"
"You're in my way," Arnaud replied, leaning over the limo's back seat, gun sideways. "That's always been sufficient for me, but even if it weren't, there's the small matter of nine or ten invisible grenades."
"Oh, yeah," Darien replied, smiling slightly. "Yeah, that was a good one."
"Obviously not good enough. Story of your life, Fawkes, which is why you'll be dead and I'll have the gland, but not until after Jessica is safe." Arnaud turned forward again and looked out the front window. A few minutes later, "Ah. We're here."
Darien looked over a guard's shoulder. "Jessica's house."
Arnaud's head whipped around. "And you know that how?"

Part 13 by Maxdout
"Well, It's too small for a villain such as yourself," Darien remarked cautiously but slyly. Arnaud seemed unimpressed so Darien added, "and your oversized ego."
Arnaud still seemed unconvinced, "I suspect it was just a lucky guess."
The driver opened the door and Arnaud got out while staring at Darien probingly. Darien glanced at Arnaud's thugs as he pointed to the door and said, "Ladies first."
They were not amused. They grabbed Darien, one on either side, and pushed him out the door. It was apparent they were fighting the urge to throw him.
They all walked together up the drive to the door of Jessica's house and Arnaud rang the doorbell. Just then Darien became very afraid that Jessica's parents might recognize him from Jessica's painting of Ralph.

Part 14 by liz_Z
Mrs. Semplar opened the door, a curious expression on her face. "Arnaud, what are you doing here?"
Arnaud gave her a wan smile. "I'm here to help find Jessica."
Mrs. Semplar's lip trembled for a moment, and then she broke down into tears. Arnaud immediately pulled her up in a hug, whispering soothing words in her ear.
After a while Mrs. Semplar began to calm down. Darien watched in surprise. He had never thought that Arnaud was capable of anything like compassion.
Mrs. Semplar frowned and gestured at Darien. "Who is this?"
"Someone who can help us."
"He looks familiar... Oh well, it must be my imagination. His face just reminded me of... a painting Jessica made..." She broke down into tears again.
Arnaud frowned. "What painting?"
"The one of... her invisible friend..."
Arnaud pulled her up in another hug, but his eyes were filled with cold anger. "I see."

Part 15 by IMFreak
After a moment Mrs. Semplar took a deep breath, pulled away from Arnaud enough to wipe her eyes briskly, and said in a voice that sounded as though she were trying to be cheerful, "Well, where are my manners? Come in, come in."
Arnaud kept an arm around his sister and after a quick glare backward at Darien they walked into the house together. Darien was practically hustled inside by the two bodyguards behind him. Once they were in the living room, Mrs. Semplar sat down on a couch, Arnaud beside her. She gestured toward the other chairs arranged in a semi circle around the room for the others to sit in. Subtly, the two muscle men pushed Darien toward one that was pretty much between the other two. Just enough nudging so that Mrs. Semplar wouldn't notice.
"Thanks. How are you holding up Mrs. Semplar?" Darien asked once he had sat down, a look of sincere concern on his face.
Mrs. Semplar, who had been looking more at the beige rug than anything else, brought her head up sharply to look at him. "Fine, thank you." Her voice was a bit tight.
"It's alright, Dear, I told you. He's here to try and help."
She looked earnestly into Arnaud's face, "But why? What makes you think some stranger can find Jessica when the police can't? I mean, how well do you know this man?"
"Trust me. He will do his best to find her." Arnaud looked at Darien with stern eyes that seemed to add "or he will be very, very sorry" to his last statement.

Part 16 by Mandy AKA fawkesieladyandEd
"I'm sorry." Mrs. Semplar said to Darien. "I just can't get over how much you look like Ralph."
"Ralph?" Darien asked trying to sound confused.
"Yes. Jess's invisible friend." She said as she stood up. Mrs. Semplar left the room and returned a moment later with the painting. "See, this is a painting of Ralph."
"Wow." Was all Darien could force out of his mouth.
Mrs. Semplar sat down wiping away fresh tears. "It's alright dear." Arnaud said as he put his arm around her shoulders. "We'll bring her home safe."
He looked at Darien with angry eyes. "May I speak with you a moment?" He said through clenched teeth. He had tried to sound friendly, but his sister flinched at his tone.
"Sure." Darien said and left the house with Arnaud.
"Do you want to tell me why Jessica painted a picture of you?" Arnaud asked when the front door was closed behind them.

Part 17 by bookwormgirl
Darien stepped up to Arnaud real close and said, “Do you want to find Jessica or do you want to waste time with a history lesson?”
Arnaud stared back at Darien. “We’ll talk later, after Jessica is safe. But trust me, Ralph,” he said with venom in his voice, “we will talk.” With that, Arnaud opened the door and the two reentered the house.
“Is there a problem?” asked Mrs. Sempler.
“Not at all, my dear. We were just discussing the best place to start our investigation. Mr. Fawkes and I have different,” Arnaud paused, “techniques.”
“Mrs. Sempler,” asked Darien, “did the kidnappers leave a note? A clue of any kind as to who they are or what they would want with Jess?”

Part 18 by Veronica aka Scout
Mrs. Semplar ran into the kitchen and returned with a piece of paper and something else in her hand. "Here is what we found on the front stoop yesterday morning. A letter and a dead butterfly.
What does it mean?" Arnaud shrugged his shoulders and looked confused.
Darien knew exactly what the butterfly meant, "Crysalis."
Arnaud grabbed Darien's arm, "What?"
Darien repeated, "Crysalis is behind this and I know why they went after Jessica."

Part 19 by RGtwilight
Arnaud's grip on Darien's arm tightened even more and Arnaud seemed to turn purple. Darien turned away from Mrs. Semplar and quicksilvered his arm. Arnaud quickly released his grip and said “Merde!”
“What is Crysalis?” asked Arnaud’s sister. She wondered why both men seemed to be so agitated with each other.
Darien shook off his quicksilvered arm and studied Arnaud—he seemed to recognize the name Crysalis! Darien then said “Look I am sure these people won’t hurt Jessica but I think we should stay calm and look at the note to see what they want.”
Arnaud, still agitated grabbed the note from his sister and began to read it. But before he finished he looked up at Darien and hissed, “What do you know about Crysalis?”
Darien asked Mrs. Semplar “Can I use your phone?” Then he dialed a number and looked at Arnaud and said, “I really think I am going to need help with this. I need Bobby Hobbes. He will know the best way to infiltrate Crysalis. Now what does the note say?”

Part 20 by Sasscat
Arnaud pressed his lips together for a moment, then handed the note over.
"Very well, but warn Mister Hobbes not to come armed. I don't think he'd like the consequences."
"Armed?" Jessica's mother looked worried. "Arnaud, is this man dangerous?"
"Of course not, _ma chere_," Arnaud said soothingly. "You know I would never do anything to put you at risk." He looked daggers at Darien, as if daring him to argue.
Darien managed to keep his mouth shut, barely. He turned his attention back to the phone, rattling instructions off to Bobby as he held the note up to the light.
_In lieu of promised payment, the girl is ours. Consider your debt discharged. J.S._
Stark. Darien scowled and resisted the urge to crumple the note up into a ball. It looked like Arnaud and Chrysalis had had some business dealings. But Arnaud had double-crossed them, and they'd trumped his double-cross.
If Jessica weren't caught in the middle of it, Darien would have been inclined to sit back and watch them fight it out. Instead... well, he could only imagine the things Chrysalis could do with an impressionable kid.

Part 21 by fawkesieladyandEd
"Story?" What the hell does that mean?" Darien asked as he looked at Arnaud.
"You are the one that knows Chrysalis so well, you tell me." Arnaud returned.
Darien thought for a moment, "I don't know." He said finally.
"Hello boys, good morning Mrs. Semplar." A voice called from behind them.
Darien turned, "Hobbes? What are you doing here?"
"You called Darien."
"Yeah, but you never answered the phone."
"Let me see that." Hobbes said as he took the note from Arnaud. He read the note then looked up at Darien. "It was Chrysalis, and they want a story."
"We figured that part out Hobbes, but what kind of story?" Darien asked.
"This is a clue Darien. Chrysalis wants us to have a little treasure hunt. The next clue is in the children’s section of the library."
"Alright then," Arnaud said, "Let's go."

Part 22 by KAT_bboard_lurker
Apparently, the local library didn't realize a girl's life was on the line. They had yet to open the massive, locked doors, when Darien, Bobby, and Arnaud arrived. Arnaud thought it best if his sister stay behind and his thugs guard her.
"Go find a way in, Fawkes," he barked.
"Yes, my Swiss Miss," Darien said under his breath. Bobby started to follow, but Arnaud stopped him dead in his tracks by firing his gun so close to Bobby's face, he could feel it pass by.
"Oops, I missed," Arnaud said innocently enough. "I wonder if I will next time."
"I think I'll stay here with him, Darien," Bobby squeaked out.
Darien walked behind the building. There was a small window, towards the ground, perhaps to a basement. He climbed down into the black abyss. What's that moving? He couldn't see… "Oh my…" he thought. "HEY YOU GUYS!!! YOU BETTER COME LOOK AT THIS RIGHT NOW!!!"

Part 23 by dakFinv
Arnaud and Hobbes ran to where Fawkes had entered the library. "What is it Fawkes?" questioned Hobbes.
"It's one of Stark's guys. He looks pretty beat up," answered Darien Darien helped Arnaud and Hobbes into the library. Fumbling around in the dark Hobbes found a light switch and lit up the dark room. The room was completely trashed.
"Whoa. It looks like a wrestling match took place down here," said Hobbes. "You. What happened here?" Arnaud snarled as he shook the already half-conscious Chrysallis agent.
"I...I...I can't...a struggle...gunshots...other people...other than Chrysallis," stammered the man. He slowly started to create more understandable sentences. "My partner and I were supposed to wait here and watch you while you were at the library, but there were other men here other than us. I don't know who they were, but they took my partner."
"You have no idea who they were?" asked Darien.
"No, but they left this. Maybe it will help."

Part 24 by Kimpire
Darien reached out to take the note from the Chrysalis agent, but Arnaud slapped his hand away and grabbed it himself. While Arnaud read the note to himself, Hobbes pulled Darien over. "Why the hell is he offering this information up to us?" he asked.
Darien frowned. "What do you mean?"
"I mean," said Hobbes, "That if this guy really was attacked by someone else, he wouldn't freely tell us that. It's obvious he recognizes us, so why is he volunteering information?"
Darien paused for a moment. "Hobbes..."
"Trust me, Fawkes, I'm the expert here, and we're being set up, my friend."
Darien sighed. "Well, only one way to find out." He turned to Arnaud, who had finished reading the note. "What's it say?"

Part 25 is postponed until next newsletter as we I-Maniacs had our minds on other, more important things over the last two weeks.