MiSTing: Sense of Community

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Those of us who have been around on the BBoard for a while remember doing the MiSTings of episodes during the hiatus times. However it’s been a good year since we’ve made fun of our favorite show, partially because of new episodes but mostly because we’ve been busy trying to get IM renewed.

It’s been such a long time. But now the MiSTings are back.

At first we were hesitant to start making fun of the show we’re trying to save. However MiSTing has always been about enjoying the wonderful qualities of an episode, cracking jokes about the bad, and offering a different outlet for the enjoyment of The Invisible Man. We do this out of love, respect, fun, and a warped sense of humor. We waited a respectable amount of time, but wait no longer. Welcome back to the riffs.

So without any further ado:

MiSTing: A Sense Of Community (subtitled The Great Invisible Escape)

Our Riffers, in the order they got their riffs in:

Lauren (aka OboeCrazy): If a big white bubble called Rover shows up I am SO switching to Comedy Central!

Stacey (aka R2): Do I have to wait for the shirtless scene to *THUD*?

IMan (aka IMANCRAZY): There’s not a lot of us, but that just means we get more room to riff!

Emma (aka EmmaHobbes): (plopping down on the floor with a Cherry Coke and a huge pillow) I’ll needing this for the shirtless Bobby scene!

Joyce (aka InvisibleMom): Shh everyone! It’s starting...

And now our MiSTing begins...

Lauren: (as Dukes of Hazard )YEEEEE-HAW!!

Stacey: Whoa, when did this turn into Nash Bridges?

Joyce: Looks like the streets of San Francisco.

IMan starts singing the Star Wars Theme.

Lauren: Think they get frequent flier miles?

Stacey: Think they're gonna lose an axle?

Emma: Darien drives like me!

Stacey: Either they're firing blanks, or they're super bad shots

<Darien, “Here we go, here we go, here we go”>

Lauren: Man, he's repeating entire sentences now

Stacey: I think when he reaches a certain number, he gets one free

<Hobbes, “Chief is making us use recycled ammo.”>

Stacey: Plastics make it possible!

Stacey: Man, he was better in Tiresias

Lauren: You know, everything seemed better in Tiresias

<Darien, “If I floor it any more my feet are gonna be on the pavement here, all right?”>

Stacey: Darien Fawkes as Fred Flintstone in Yabba Dabba I-Man.

Emma: With all this arguing it sounds like me and my Dad when I drive.

Lauren: Suddenly kids from all over the city rush in to play in the water.

Joyce: Hey, is that any way to treat a lady?

Lauren: (as boxing announcer) Oh and there is the knockout punch!

<Darien, “This thing's got 200,000 miles on it?!”>

Emma: Holy crap! Golda has more miles then my Uncle’s ‘48 Mercury!

Joyce: Why is he so surprised?

Stacey: Obviously not built Ford tough.

Lauren: Well when you drive across the country you’re going to put a lot of miles on the car.

Stacey: You’re the only one who does that.

Stacey: So, is Sense of Community kind of like a sense of justice, or a sense of fair play, or a sense of smell or dollars and cents or …

Lauren: You gonna do this the entire opening segment?

Stacey: Hey, it's been awhile, this stuff's stored up.

<Darien’s voice over, “It’s actually the lack of money that really sucks.”>

Lauren: As a starving artist I can sympathize.

<Official, "So …">

Stacey: Oh! I know this one, needle pulling thread!

(Lauren whacks Stacey with a pillow)

<Official, “What possible excuse could you have for this total ineptitude?”>

Stacey: We had plastic bullets

Lauren: The van broke

Stacey: They pulled a Nash Bridges

Lauren: Darien was driving

Stacey: Did we mention the plastic bullets?

<Hobbes, “No excuses, sir.”

Darien, “What're you, nuts?”>

Both: Uh ..

Stacey: He's on Prozac

Lauren: And Zoloft

Stacey: And Lithium

Both: So yeah!

<Hobbes, continuing, “What, you got a problem with that?”>

Lauren: (as Darien) Yea, I’M the one who goes nuts around here, pal!

<Darien, “We’re going to end up like Tiny Tim, d-e-a-d!”>

Emma: And Darien wins the Agency Spelling Bee!

<Hobbes, “Fawkes,”

Darien, ”Hobbes,”

Hobbes, “Fawkes,”

Official, “Boys,”

Darien, “Hobbes,”

Hobbes, “Fawkes,”

Official, “Boys!”>

Lauren: Stacey...

Stacey: Lauren...

IMan: Girls...

Lauren: Stacey...

Stacey: Lauren...

IMan: Girls...

Lauren: Chief!

Stacey: McCloud!

IMan: ENOUGH!

Stacey: Man, you lay down a funky base and that would be one kickin' tune!

<Official, “I’ve got Eberts combing the budget looking for any excess bit of fat we can siphon off.”>

Joyce: Eberts is gonna run a fat farm?

Stacey (as Eberts): Well, now that you mention it, I have this boil on my …

Lauren (whacking Stacey): Hey! Gross!

Lauren: What sucked? LEXX?

Stacey: Cancellation?

Both: Bonnie?

Lauren: Hey, it’s Shannon Dorothy!

Stacey: Well they are filming in California...

Lauren: If this turns into 90210 I am SO switching to Comedy Central!

Lauren: Apparently Darien super sized the super size.

Emma: I’ve never wanted to be a straw so bad in my life.

<Hobbes, “I was wondering if there was a men’s room.”>

Lauren: (as Hobbes) For all the people who don’t work here to use.

Lauren: Down the hall is W. Disney, and on the second floor is A. Earhart.

IMan: Wait. I may not know my history, but isn't he dead?

Stacey: That didn't stop them from bringing back Darien's dad

Lauren: Oh, you went there. And we were doing so well.

Stacey: Sad thing is, I never left.

<Hobbes, “Do you dance?”

Secretary, “I do a little boot scootin'.”>

Stacey: Hey, my dogs do that across the carpet too!

IMan: Okay, ew.

Emma: I wouldn’t mind being cornered by Bobby for a while.

Joyce: And the ol’ Bobby Hobbes charm strikes again.

Lauren: You know Dave Barry says the complexity of any line dance is inversely proportional to the average IQ of the people doing the dancing.

Stacey: Oh, ha ha. That's just been overdone.

Lauren: Can I say that Elvis has left the building.

Stacey: You just did.

Joyce: Guess you don’t need a real lock for an empty room.

<Hairy hands type on a keyboard, pan out to reveal Eberts>
Stacey: Wow. So, Mike's been taking steroids, then?

<Darien, “It’s a front.”

Official, “For what?”>

Lauren: A back.

(Everyone whacks Lauren with their pillows)

<Hobbes, “Their whole payroll is dead agents.”>

Joyce: That’s one way to make sure they don’t talk back.

<Hobbes, “...is going to be dealing with the wrath of Bobby Hobbes.”>

Lauren: (as Kirk) HOOOOOOOOOOBBES!!!!

<Darien, “We don’t actually live around here.”>

Lauren: Could you imagine Darien as your neighbor?

Stacey: I’d never move.

Stacey: Jehovah’s Witnesses!

Lauren: More like Hells Angels...literally!

Everyone: AHH!

Lauren: It’s only a flesh wound.

Stacey: So Darien just faints at the sight of even a little blood?

Lauren: He is part French, maybe he’s related to LeBeau.

Joyce: Uh, guys, isn’t that old lady a loose end?

Lauren: (rubbing her eyes) Damnit, I knew I should have changed my contacts!

<Hobbes, “Are we dead?”>

Stacey: No, that smell is Darien's feet

<Darien, “If we are Heaven is a major let-down.”>

Emma: Y’all look damn good from where I’m sitting!

Stacey: Who says you’re in Heaven?

Lauren: (as the commercial) This is Hell, you get the minivan!

<Darien, “Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.”>

Emma: Anyone else see Darien dressed as Dorothy? (she shudders)

Lauren: I just can’t picture Darien in a blue dress and pigtails.
Stacey: If Darien puts on Ruby slippers, I am so changing to Comedy Central

Lauren: Stealing my lines now, are we?

Joyce: Kansas? I thought we were in San Diego!

<Darien, “You mean besides the fact that we went in a house one place and came out another?”>

Lauren: It’s the house version of the TARDIS.

IMan: (as Rod Serling) Fawkes and Hobbes are two men who are lost and don't know where they are. But what they don't realize is that Fawkes and Hobbes have just stepped into the Twilight Zone.

<Hobbes, “My phone's gone, so's my gun.”

Darien, “No van.”

Hobbes, “No street.”>

Stacey: No plot

Lauren: No kidding

Stacey and Lauren: Mark Twain!

<Darien, “Mark Twain. That’s an easy one.”>

Stacey: Jinx!

Lauren: (as Darien) I’ll take Easy Quotes For The Obsessed for 300, Alex.

<Hobbes, “Are you seeing him?”>

Lauren: Sure, ask the Invisible Man.

<Jack, “Well I’d show you my birthmark but you look shaky enough as it is.”>

Lauren: (interested) Oh really? I’d like to see...

Stacey: No.

Lauren: But he’s a good looking guy and it could be on his...

Stacey: NO!

<Jack, “The government orchestrates our murders or mysterious disappearances and brings us here to live out our retirement.”>

Lauren: Oh, so like The Prisoner except not British.

Stacey: You know imitation is supposed to be the highest form of flattery.

<Jack is getting Darien and Bobby some coffee.

Darien, "Where do you guys get your mochas from?">

IMan: (as Jack) Oh there is a Starbucks down the sidewalk.

<Hobbes, “You know I always felt bad I couldn’t be at your funeral.”>

Lauren: (as Hobbes) But I listened in from 200 yards away on a big spy dish!

<Jack, “… you try to cross that perimeter, it'd be suicide.”>

Stacey: (singing) 'Cause suicide is painless …

Lauren: I really thought we'd make it through this without you doing that

<Hobbes, “You got cameras everywhere. I mean look around , there are cameras everywhere!”>

Lauren: It’s like you’re filming a TV show or something.

<Hobbes, “Nobody every kept Bobby Hobbes any place he didn’t want to be.”>

Lauren: (as Hobbes) Well I am kinda stuck at the Agency...and there was that time in the hospital...

<Hobbes, “He sold his rights to his life story. A lot of old-timers did that. We play our cards right and that could be us.”>

Lauren: (as Hobbes) Unless, of course, our show is canceled because...

Stacey: (as Darien) Who would cancel a show about two cool guys like us?

<Claire, “Rented? My equipment is rented?!”>

Joyce: Do you think the Official pulled the hard drives on those computers?

Lauren: Later some schmuck at the rental company is gonna search through this repossessed computer and find all kinds of goodies on the Invisible Man.

<Claire, “Not my snake!”>

Lauren: Next time we see Lucinda she’ll be a guest on the Crocodile Hunter.

Lauren: It’s that chick from Friends!

<Helene, “Unless you have a death wish, you better back off.”>

Stacey: Ooh, is Chuck Bronson in this one?

Lauren: He could kill the writers.

<Hobbes, “You wrote the book on temptation and seduction in operational procedures!”>

Stacey: Ah, the book Alex Monroe lives by.

Lauren: Hobbes just likes looking at the pictures.

<Helene, “Weren't you briefed?”>

Stacey: Hobbes is more of a boxer/briefs man, actually

Lauren: Somehow, I don't think that's what she meant

<Helene, “Stop staring at my breasts and I'll tell you what I can.”>

Lauren: (as Hobbes) Stop wearing a wonder bikini and I’ll do my best.
Stacey: Kinda hard not to stare when they're practically jumping in your face

Lauren: Is this Alex in a wig?

Emma: Hey, if I ever got the chance I’ll tell him all he wants and he can stare at all he wants!!

Lauren: NO! Not the Nair!

Lauren: (as Kro) You might have seen me on MST3K.
Stacey: (as Darien) Hi, I'm Tom Servo and I'm looking for the Satellite of Love.

<Kro, spelling his name, “K...R...O.”>

IMan: Aww that poor guy needs a spell checker.

<Kro, “It's a long, complicated tale of intrigue and extreme personal jeopardy.”>

Stacey: Is he talking about his life or Father Figure?

<Kro, “There are no exits, didn't they explain things to you?”>
Lauren: (as Kro) You know...things. Life, the universe...everything!

IMan: I'm starting to get the vibe that there's no way out

Stacey: Subtle as a bullet train

<A tiny helicopter flies by.

Darien, “What the Hell was that?”>

Lauren: (as Kro) Those damn Smurfs are out for a joyride.

Stacey: JoshProp's toy got away from him!

<Darien, “Where did it go?”

Kro, “To it’s home base, which I assume is through there.”>

Joyce: Well duh, I guess so since it just flew past you and flew in there!

Lauren: You know when you assume it makes an ass out of u and me.

<Darien, “I was kinda brought here against my will.”>

Lauren: (as Darien) Like most of my life.

<Jack, “None of us wants to leave the game.”>

Stacey: Checkers?
Lauren: Backgammon?

Stacey: Bridge?
Lauren: Uno?

<Darien, “You ever think what the Community is gonna think when I go QSM in here?”>

Lauren: I think Kro will get some more target practice.

<Hobbes, “Fawkes, these things are everywhere.”>

Stacey: Then, how come we didn't see them until now?

Lauren: Convenient plot point

Stacey: Oh. Okay, then

<Darien, “So, evidently we're in some kind of dome.”>

Stacey: Thunderdome?

Lauren: Astrodome?

<Darien, “Did you ever see The Truman Show?”>

Lauren: Why watch the only movie where Jim Carrey doesn’t talk out of his butt?

Both: Hi Mom!

<Darien, “I do have some good news.”

Hobbes, “I could use a little good news right about now.”>

Stacey: Me two.

Lauren: Me three.

IMan: Me four.

Stacey : Is he about to say they found the plot?

Lauren: (as Darien) Hey, what a coincidence! There’s a guy here who’s got the same name as I do!

Lauren: (singing) Hello!

Stacey: (singing in harmony) Hello!

Stacey: (fainting) *THUD*

Lauren: Had to happen at least once, not a riff without it

Emma: Get ready to drool, ladies! (Emma goes into a trance-like state, a happy grin on her face)

<There’s a long slow pan of Helene in a sexy outfit while steamy sax music plays.>

Lauren: (as Hobbes) Ms. Lowe, are you trying to seduce me?

Stacey: Apparently IMan needed to boost it’s male 18-34 ratings.

Lauren: This is recycled Going Postal sax music!

<Helene, “So, Robbie...”

Hobbes, “It’s Bobbie.”>

Lauren: (as Helene) Sorry, Larry.

Stacey: (as Hobbes) Bobby!

Lauren: (as Helene) Oh of course, Nobby...

<Helene, standing in front of some spears on a wall, “My what a great place you have here.”>

Lauren: (as Helene) And my what big spears you have.

<Helene, “Do you have a special girl out there?”>
Stacey: Do the Honeys count?

<Helene, “You have a sense of reality to you.”>

Stacey: How ironic for a character to say.

Lauren: (as Rygel) I’m nobodies puppet!

<Helene, “I’m reading you as...good.”>

Lauren: Thank you Ms. Cleo!

Lauren: That’s every Hobbes Honey’s dream right there.

Joyce: I want to be HER!

<Hobbes goes back and forth kissing Helene then backing away.>
Stacey: I'm getting dizzy

Lauren: (wincing) Careful! That’s vintage David Sandborn!

Joyce: Bobby Hobbes, man of steal.

<Helene, “The only reason your stay wont last much longer is if you don't live much longer!”>

Lauren: Whoa. She pulled a complete 180, made my head spin.

Stacey: I think she graduated from the Alex school of bitchiness.

Lauren: Hell, Hobbes that sink ain’t gonna work. Try a cold shower!

Everyone: (fainting) *THUD*

Emma: (squealing in delight) Oh crap, he looks good!!

Lauren: Yeah, no kidding. This makes Darien and Hobbes even!

Joyce: Hope Darien’s apartment has thick walls.

Lauren: And Hobbes never tried to light his farts again.

(Everyone whacks Lauren with their pillows)

<Eberts, “Then who’s gonna find Fawkes and Hobbes?”

The Official glances at Eberts.>

Lauren: (as Official) Ever play hide and go seek, Eberts?

<Eberts, standing in an empty apartment, “Sir, I’m at Darien’s apartment. We have a situation here.”>

Lauren: (as Eberts) He’s quicksilvered all his furniture.

Joyce: Man, when the Maid cleans your place she doesn’t fool around!

Emma: (as Hobbes) Damn fly!

Lauren: Wow, didn't even blink.

Stacey: Maybe his spidey sense was tingling.

Joyce: And now Darien and Hobbes demonstrate total trust and confidence in your partner.

<Darien, “You laid Lowe?”>

Stacey: Did he just …

Lauren: Yes, he did.

Stacey: I can't believe the sensors let that slide.

Lauren: He got the Lowe down! He knew how to get Lowe! Lowe and behold he...

Stacey: Enough!

<Darien, “You and Helene Lowe made a little spy nookie?”>
Stacey: Because, as you know, Hobbes did it all for the nookie, the nookie, so you can take that cookie and ...

Lauren: What?

Stacey: It's a Limp Bizkit song

<Hobbes, “Did you not see Fatal Attraction too?”>

Lauren: (as Darien) No, but I saw Herby the Love Bug 3.

Stacey: There was a sequel to that?

IMan: I think he meant "as well"

Stacey: Oh

<Helene, still in a bikini, about Hobbes, “If you ask me I think he’s gay.”

Darien grins>

Joyce: (as Helene) Just ‘cause I couldn’t seduce him.

Emma: Wow, the smile that sparked a thousand slash stories, my friends!

Lauren: Does she ever wear clothes?!

<Helene, “You know how government contractors are. They’re always cutting corners.”>

Joyce: Darien must be having an Official flashback.

<Hobbes, to Kro, “So Fawkes tells me you’re a regular MacGyver.”>

Lauren: (as Kro) No, I’m more a regular Jack O’Neill.

Lauren: Wait. He's got a fire burning? In San Diego? In summer?

Stacey: Maybe it's one of those fake fires, you know, with the plastic orange paper. Just for show.

<Hobbes, after Darien almost hits Jack with the baseball bat, “We almost whacked you!”>

Lauren: With the choke hold Darien had on that bat, he almost bunted him!

<Hobbes, “Come on Fawkes. I trust him like I trust you.”>

Joyce: And Hobbes proves that Darien isn’t the only one who knows how to use the puppy dog eyes.

<Hobbes, “After you.”

Darien, “No, after you.”

Hobbes, “I insist, after you.”>

Stacey: Thank you

Lauren: No, thank you

Stacey: No, no … thank you

<Darien, “Does anything about this escape bother you?”>

Stacey: Yes. The fact that it's coming so late in the eppy

<Darien, “Well one minute security is tighter than Brittany Spears' pants...”>

Lauren: Hit-O-Ram’s pants weren’t that tight.

IMan: No no, really Brittany Spears.

Emma: Hey pal, nothing is tighter then a chicks pants!

Stacey: Oh! This eppy just reached a whole new low. He said the B.S. word.

Lauren: Go easy, it's hard when they're grasping.

Joyce: I’m just enjoying thinking about tight pants...just not on Brittany Spears.

<Jack, “What's the holdup?”>

Stacey: (as Vince) We're looking for the plot

Lauren: (as Paul) We thought we saw it around here somewhere

IMan: (as Darien) Ouch...

Stacey: His hair can't possibly stand up any straighter

Lauren: Shocking, ain’t it?

(Everyone whacks Lauren with their pillows)

Emma: Look, D’s out cold, now he’s up, now he’s down, now he’s up....sheesh, make up your mind!

<Jack, “Not exactly like I'd planned, but I guess it's all about the improv, right?”>

Stacey: Okay, so we're watching Whose Line now?

Lauren: Might be an improvement, can we see Scenes From A Hat?

<Jack, “Hobbes, Hobbes, Hobbes.”>

Stacey: Marsha, Marsha, Marsha

Lauren: Here we go, here we go, here we go

Stacey: What?

Lauren: From the beginning, with Darien. I wanted to join in.

<Jack, “Friends don't let friends get killed.”>

Stacey : I thought it was friends don't let friends drink and drive.

Lauren : I thought it was friends don't let friends go to FSU.

IMan: No no it’s friends don’t let friends watch Barney.

Lauren: I know, it’s friends don’t let friends wear plaid.

Stacey: (singing) Everybody was Kung Fu fighting …

Lauren: Oh man, two in one eppy

Joyce: Hobbes is pissed now! And he doesn’t bail on his partner. Even when he’s with his partner...well...you know what I mean.

<Hobbes, “C'mon Carelli, you could never take me!”>

Stacey: Dancing?

Lauren: Bowling?

<Hobbes, “That’s a low blow, Carelli.”>

Lauren: WOW! Jack had oral...

Stacey: NO NO! Low, not Lowe.

<Hobbes, “You okay, partner?”

Darien, “No, I'm not man!”>

Lauren: (as Darien, whining) He hurt me, I have an owie!

Stacey: Want some cheese with that whine Darien?

<Darien, “Who's your partner now?”>

Stacey: Just remember, whoever you're partners with, you're partners with everyone

they've been partners with.

Lauren: I'm sure that once I figure that out, it will be gross.

Lauren: Looks like my home movies.

<Darien, “Stun gun.”

Hobbes smacks the tazer into Darien's hand.>

Stacey: Scalpel

Lauren: Suction

Stacey: Very nice of that chopper to just stay still like that.

Lauren: Hey, anything that makes this eppy end faster.

<Darien, “I’m thinking we become the helicopter.”>

Lauren: It’s the new Zen Air Force training.

Emma: Isn’t Darien getting a little too showy and risky with the silver stuff when he’s so close to going loony?

Stacey: Those are laser beams, right?

Lauren: Right.

Stacey: And quicksilver bends light, right?

Lauren: Right.

Stacey: So … this whole eppy could've been over 45 minutes ago!

Lauren: But then what would we riff?

Lauren: Man, Hobbes really doesn’t want to be on Candid Camera.

Joyce: Stay close Bobby, or the phrase “hot seat” is gonna take on a whole new meaning!

Lauren: (as Director) No! Don’t start filming until AFTER we dress the set!

Joyce: He shoots, he SCORES!

Lauren: Hobbes got practice sliding beers across bars at people.

Stacey: I wana see the out-takes from THAT!

<Hobbes, “So you sold ‘em our silence, sir.”>

Lauren: He also sells sea shells by the sea shore.

<Claire, “So you kicked ass.”>

Emma: Shannon gets the line of the day!

Lauren: (groaning) This episode was the longest setup to a cheesy punchline I’ve ever heard!

Stacey: Such a potty mouth!

Lauren: Sensors are getting lax

Stacey: Too bad SciFi beat 'em to it

Lauren: Oh, and we were having such fun

<Everyone, “Up your...”>

Stacey: Nose?

IMan: Somehow, no.

Lauren: Up your...hey, didn’t Jack already do that with Lowe?

(Everyone whacks Lauren with their pillows)

As our episode ends Lauren stands in front of the small group of friends...

Lauren: It’s become a tradition, so here we go! What’d you learn from the episode this week?

IMan: I learned that the Agency really is a Zen organization, and that’s why Darien and Bobby could become one with the helicopter.

Emma: Cleanliness is next to ookieness...uh...ickyness...well...look, I was too busy drooling over Bobby to pay close attention, OK?

Joyce: I learned that a wet, half naked Bobby Hobbes can cause your apartment to explode. That man is dynamite!

Stacey: I’ve learned that no matter how long it takes to get new episodes, nothing can stop good friends from getting together and having a great time.

Lauren: Aww...Stacey that’s a wonderfully sweet senti...

Stacey: ...and that Bobby Hobbes is HOT! <THUD>

Lauren: ...ment...oh.

Join us next time, and see all the MiSTings at

http://www.imaniacs.org/main.htm

Lauren (OboeCrazy)

and friends. :-)